Knicker shorts and hot pants

Retail world, stop trying to convince me that knicker shorts and hot pants are awesome and that I should by them. They're not, and I won't. They look stupid and uncomfortable. It takes a person with a certain type of body to be able to pull off knicker shorts. Specifically, someone with killer legs and killer ass with minimal thigh jelly. I can accept that I am not that person, please accept that too and stop bombarding me with adds and photos of knicker shorts and hot pants.