warm days

I had a strange dream last night. there was a villain some where in it, but I can't remember much about it. Santa Claus was not big and fat with white hair. He was tall, and the villain fit santa claus in a box. Later when we opened the box, Santa disappeared. For some reason I thought that santa was outside, so I ran down stairs and out into the street and looked about. It started to rain and santa true enough appeared in the rain. I was very happy happy that santa was unscathed and well.

anyway yesterday I went out with Crystal and Euniee. my favourite bit was sitting by the river and day dreaming about things and talking. It's so strange to hear about how people have changed and what they've been up to, and to think about the future and marriage. I think marriage is scary, and having children after that is even scarier. Oh! that reminds me, at some point last night I dreamt that I had painlessly [if only] given a birth to a son. and I just thought, god it would've been a son wouldn't it have, and was very disappointed. man I'm going to be a pretty horrible mother. shudder. the thought of me being a mother actually really creeps me out.