lunch

we sat by a bright window that reached from the floor to the ceiling. the napkins were laid out nicely, with two sets of forks and two sets of knives at the side. They gave us ice water in tall glasses.

how delightful; balls of speared cantalope with dried ham on top, fresh oysters with dragon fruit salad, smoked salmon, green olives with aubergines, blue cheese and ruoy with table water crackers, shitake mushrooms in fusilli, braised lamb on top of mashed potatos, soba, a colorful assortment of sashimi, pate de foie gras, cinnamon ice cream and strawberry syrup, blackberries, fruit tarts; a chocolate fountain with fresh strawberries.

dark clouds moved in from the coast, bringing rain with them. white clouds screened the windows, obscuring the view while we talked over our coffee and tea, sipping our hot drinks slowly.

whew

what a good day.

remember?

thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path

notes

I find jessica mcclintock's designs quite unimpressive. really. the worst thing is the bulgy skirts. why are they held in high acclaim? the victorian designs are indescribably hideous, and look like cheapy cosplaying costumes. ugh.

celebrated Samuel's birthday today. so fun! I was so happy today; I miss everyone so so so much.

eighteen

It's a funny thing, being eighteen. It seems so far away until the actual day you turn eighteen. then you realise that nothing has changed; you're still the same person you have always been. you still see the same two year old who threw her best friend [the pacifier] into the gulf of alaska; the three year old with her head caught in the banister; the same seven year old in ballet shoes; the nine year old who couldn't hold it anymore and peed in the aisle of a plane because the fat americans were taking too long in the bathroom; the very same excited sixteen year old spending Christmas with her whole family together for the first time.

you still see the same person who was looking at you five, ten years ago in the mirror. still doing stupid things and still making the same mistakes. still staring out into space. still ten years old, deep down inside.

missing

just a few more days and prelims will be over. what happens then? I've forgotten what it's like to not stay back in school and study endlessly. Just a few more days, I hope you are all well.

missing you and loving you,
eunice.

thing

love is born with the sun.

stress treatment

click

vicious

some one please put an end to this season's 'Singapore Idol.' [and it should be Singaporean Idol, for goodness sake] After enduring four days of grueling exams, I was hoping to be able to breathe a little more easily at this temporary lull in the exam period; come home and rest a little. I sat down in my nice comfy chair, switched on the television, only to be subjected to the abomination that is Singapore Idol. paralysis overtook me in my horror, preventing me from changing the channel to save myself from the absolutely atrocious singing.

There I sat seeing brief clips of the different participants trying to sing. thank God it was only a commercial. it ended quickly. I think there was only one participant who was capable of producing something that was just acceptable when she opened her mouth. As for the rest, watching them trying to squeeze a decent sound out of their throats almost gave me a seizure.

Goodness, mediacorp, why are you producing this kind of odious trash.

can't let go

this. of us. of you.

my sad desperate clinging to something that's just disappearing into thin air. what was tangible and real and warm beneath my fingers one brief moment ago, dissolved into a gray mist too quickly. and all I can do is grab at whisps of cold and try to hold the images.

inescapable truth is I'm just holding myself, and rocking myself to sleep.

calm

after last night's hell, today was very calming. I sat down in the middle of the hockey D and fell asleep while the light was draining from the sky. when I woke up I found a frog hopping around nearby. I caught it with a towel and carried it back to the void deck in hopes of scaring someone. alas, no girls I knew were about. I had to settle for trying to scare someone after he tried to sneak up on me while I was studying. unfortunately I didn't want to let the frog jump out and get lost far away from home, so I lost the element of surprise. and then, it peed.

like fibre glass cuts

they're quite mild. It all started when I got distracted by the good smell of a ripe peach. they smell like how summer should smell. but seeing as how I couldn't eat a juicy peach in the middle of lit tuition and drip peach juice all over the table I could only stare at the fuzzy doughnut peach wrapped up in thick patterned kitchen tissue. I loved the smell. I picked up the peach and smelled it, and rubbed it against my cheek because I loved how it's so fuzzy.

and now the lower right side of my face stings because I got peach fuzz cuts. which is sad.

tucked away

after staring at my chemistry tys and getting nothing done for an hour, I packed my things up and left the void deck. I tucked myself away into a corner of the bleachers and started blowing bubbles into the night. there was a cherry seed in my mouth.

bubbles

I am in a bubble. sounds thrown at me amount to quiet indistinguishable whispers. and all I can see are people mouthing words.

and with every step I take, I shake.