bright

everything seems brighter and better when you've had a happy day with happy friends that you love a lot and wish you saw more of.

shocking revelations and five dollar bags. FIVE DOLLAR BAGS. I'm going to try and patchwork it so that the cloth isn't quite so thin. and also because it will be more colourful after that. yaayyy for colourful! I hope we can do this more often. It's like I'm dehydrated and I don't know that I am until I come back to the spring that gushes from you two. LOOOOOOOOOVEEEEE YYOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

and now a more methodical and rational account of my day.

I got up early and left the house with dad. he dropped me off at ikea at 9 o'clock, but to my dismay I discovered that ikea doens't open till 10 o'clock. so I sat down in subway with my copy of bleakhouse [which thickens more and more] until 10. I read my book for another hour until crystal placed a carton of milo on the table in front of my face. then euniee came along with her small bag and we had yet more food. euniee had ice cream after lunch, and I bought a small packet of daim. we walked about anchorpoint, which has a lot of nice cheap stuff. I'm well pleased with being introduced to that fact. and after we had exhausted our selection of stores with sales we went to queensway, where euniee had a tea egg and where we found overpriced dresses.

purple sequiny shoes. bags that are hard to hang back up on the shelf. the patchy cow t-shirt. green shoes and FIVE DOLLAR BAGS! floppy eared rabbits and news of floppy eared rabbits dying from indigestion. bad bad bubble tea. plans for wedding planning. brief lessons on how to buy things online. news and news and more news. thought exchange.

and old photos of warm amber days.

when we were ugly and retarded, but happy.

lamentations

what is it that you are thinking,
what are you feeling?

I don't see you enough,
I can't relate.

we long for days gone by.

happyness

are we stewing in a thick soup of our own vanity? I hope not.

I arranged to have music classes on sunday. I'll be starting grade 6 lessons next week. grade 1-5 is a lot more easy peasy than I thought it would be. today started off really badly. I was so pissed off that mum came in and started yelling at me to get out of bed because she had made some last minute changes to dad and my morning plans. It was a really bad morning.

we went to visit epo betty briefly to give her some cookies and pies and stuff. dad was annoyed that mum changed our plans at the last minute and to be honest, she was being really annoying, and he wanted to leave as soon as possible so that he could get his book from home and study because he's got an exam tomorrow. but it was so awful when epo betty started to cry because she said she felt lonely. I felt so sorry for her, despite me being pissed as well that I woke up to aggressive yelling and what not.

anyway I've orchestrated to have my lessons on sunday so that dad has an excuse to send ahgong to church in the morning, after which we can go visit epo betty so she'll feel less lonely. and dad can send me to class for 11, and mum can wait for me at epo betty's. I can assume that dad will bring a book so everyone wins. and then we can go for lunch.



I would that this was different. I want you to be happy.

obama

He is officially my hero.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8155077.stm

by recognising the existence of prejudice and discrimination among loads of minority groups he sees the need to deal with such issues. but urging people to change their mindset and accept responsibility for their actions - that's probably not a new concept but someone with huge authority telling people to do that has a more profound effect - that's just brilliant. telling people to stop clinging on to the past and move on and build their own future just hits the nail on the head.

annoying

http://www.iwanttoremember.com/

annoying website. not because it speaks complete untruth, no, they actually make a fair number of valid points that people should consider. but it gives a very one sided view of things in my opinion, and comes dangerously close to being a conspiracy theorist type website at certain intervals. I hate conspiracy theorists. they usually talk such a load of attractive bullshit that all the flies come buzzing around feeding off the waste and spreading the disease.

I'm of the impression that holding on to the memory of slavery so tightly with such personalised conviction is unhealthy for the 'victims.' I say 'victims' because I believe that slavery in its early base form no longer exists in developed countries, and that most of the people whinging on these sites have not experienced it. I think remembering the injustice and horrors of slavery is important, so that we bear in mind mistakes that should not be repeated. oh they are still being repeated, even though you wouldn't think it, but people should focus on moving on instead of letting themselves be consumed by the memory of injustices that happened in the distant past.

despite forced labour and child labour being illegal internationally, there is still a black market for trading in persons and such breaches of international law. it is something that the common people must encourage their relevant institutions to address/abolish. however the fact that it is illegal and that it exists at the black market level, indicates that the international community abhors the concept of slavery. From what I understand, forced labour, trading in persons and such things still occur because it is difficult to regulate and prevent such things. It's like how it's difficult for governments to regulate drugs or weapons on the black market. It doesn't mean that they don't care or they don't try.

old things in the closet

we were afraid, so we wore masks to hide who we were. and no one knew. they couldn't understand, but we didn't blame them.

those shields are in the closet now.

reminiscent

hey there delilah,

remember how we'd stay up late talking? we don't do that any more. it's a shame.

x

music theory

I think I made a mistake when calculating the exchange rate. SGD$70 amounts to about 30 pounds. right.

NO I'M NOT GOING TO PAY YOU SGD$70 AN HOUR TO TEACH ME MUSIC THEORY ONLY WHEN THE AVERAGE GOING RATE TO MY KNOWLEDGE IS HALF OF THAT OR SLIGHTLY MORE THAN HALF OF THAT AND WHEN I'M PAYING MY HIGHLY QUALIFIED CONCERT PIANIST AND CONCERT CELLIST TEACHERS THAT RATE TO TEACH ME IN UNIVERSITY.

I need to find a qualified music theory teacher.

inspiration

'maybe you can be a judge that writes music'
'yeah and I'll deliver judgments with a full orchestral backing'

I get the feeling that some people know exactly what they want in life, and so it seems a little easier. some people are so lucky, because they get to do exactly what they want, and they're on track with that. and as for me I'm still finding myself unsure. is it going to be law? is it going to be music? am I going to be a lady justice in the house of lords? no, that is highly unlikely if I take 3 years out to do a completely unrelated degree. also because they're getting rid of the house of lords eventually and replacing it with a supreme court, but that's not the point.

I need to find a table to put by the piano because running between the keys and the dining table gets a little troublesome. I also need to clear my head of all the amazing regina spektor and lame whatevers that I've heard a million times before. regina spektor is like my heroine just because she does what she wants and does it well. that's what I want to do. so I'll make bags out of left over rags under the bed, and i'll write my own tunes and my own songs filled with wine and promenades through flowers under the moon.

oh I just remembered something.

frequent

alright so after some prodding from crystal I've decided to start writing more stuff more regularly. let me firstly say that I love crystal and eunice and arthur and brendan and that we should meet up more often, and that I hope we actually do instead of just wish it all the time [I love taufiq too but he's kind of half in our batch, not fully in our batch and the previous ramble was relating to just our batch if you look closely]. I'm going to try and go to nus more after the term begins. maybe read bleakhouse in the canteen and wait for them to come out of class so I can jump on them. ok so not everyone is at nus, but it's a lot easier to get to than ntu. maybe I can crash courses as well and learn things.

last night I dreamt that I saw the aurora and this thought came to me suddenly about the future because that was what happened in the dream. maybe one day if I have money I'll buy a small plane and let yai fly it, on the condition that we take trips to places. Iris can be the onboard doctor and we'll put beds in the small plane like those pimped out planes you see in the movies some times, because sleeping in plane seats is horrendous. and we'd go to alaska or finland and watch an aurora. it would be awesome!

for some reason I also dreamt about eka tanu and how he was a butler in a house. and I was telling him that I wanted to go to school and he started prancing about and making excited girly exclamations. it makes me smile when I think about it. I also dreamt that Ivan got shot in the arm by a sniper. which is the most random thing ever.

I had a brain wave and started writing a song about jarndyce v jarndyce. maybe I'll be able to use it for our assessment in law and literature next year. I'm having a good amount of trouble and kind of stumble onto certain chords that fit and lots of chords that don't. I wish aunty audrey would hurry up and get back to me about the theory lessons. she sounds a little featherbrained on the phone to be honest, and mum warned me that she seems a little flakey as well. I'll have to ask her about the cello rental too, but she probably forgot. if you realised that my sentences have taken on a more lengthy quality, it's because I've been reading bleak house for half the day. it's given me a little bit of a headache, maybe because the text is too small or because the light was too dim.